Saturday, June 21, 2014


Someone had wronged me.. many years ago. That person went ahead to lead a happy life. Their happiness made me sick, and I would ask Karma if it even had the balls to restore the balance of good and evil. I decided I would wait for the right time, and to have enough power to take matters into my own hands. I needed vengeance much more than I needed peace of mind. I needed to know they are suffering as much as I once did. I wanted them as damaged as they damaged me.

Time doesn't heal. Time does what it does best- adds more layers of time on something rotten so we would forget it. Good things did happen to me. I found some exceptional people. I moved on. But there's this thing about us.. we remember. We are designed to remember hurt more than remembering love. No one loves with the same passion that they hate with.

And so, there is nothing more fulfilling than knowing that the universe has avenged your pain. This person is unhappy, directionless, groping in the same darkness that I was once pushed into.And that feels good.

This is what a full circle feels like. Judge me all you want, but you can judge me only for being honest...for it is in our very nature to seek justice. We want to believe in emancipation and our capacity for it, and so we build and repetitively recite our stories about altruism and forgiveness till we start thinking them as true. The fact is.. we never truly forgive, just like we never truly forget.

Retribution is the only closure there is. 

Tuesday, June 10, 2014


Hope. The most over-rated word. From the very beginning, we are taught that hope is a nice thing. That 'giving up on hope is like giving up on life'. That 'when we have nothing, we have hope'. We cannot be farther from the truth.

Hope is nothing but a chain, a shackle that prevents us from moving ahead, moving on.
But then hope comes naturally.. It survives the biggest blows, it thrives on the slightest chance, and before you know it, hope becomes the foundation of your actions. Most times, you take its support, hold its welcoming hand, depend on it.
Only sometimes, you have the better judgement not to lean on it. Only sometimes you see that hope engulfs you in a comfortable cocoon, while crushing your strength from within. Only sometimes you see that hope is precisely what one shouldn't have when one has nothing.

So what do you do when hope refuses to die?

You locate the mean little bastard; you chop off whatever tentacles it has spread around your self-respect; you move out from the blinding light that has blocked your pragmatism...and you get rid of it.

You bludgeon it to death.